today was a good day. choir was fun, class was relatively alright. even though i was tired, i didnt fall alseep. chinese CA was finally over and yeah. basically it leaves me to chiong lang arts and bio. =/ i have tmr afternoon to complete everything. oh yeah, and to do the bio project =/



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i dont know why i did what i did just now. as in, ok sometimes i really dont know what i am thinking. i understand where you all are coming from, as in, i do understand that you all like me(i hope). but i feel that age, gender, schools, status all play a part in the making and building of a friendship. call me selfish, but somehow i dont seem to be as willing to sacrifice my time and my effort in building this friendship. i understand that you all do want me to go and everything, and i understand the fact that you all do care for me. but, sometimes, its just this 'extra' feeling that you get. yes, as mr boy was saying, feelings do go away, but it takes TIME for it to go away. and by that time, it will be too late to salvage the friendship. and you know what guys, i do have my pride too. dont think that just because i am a girl, i dont have a so called 'man's ego'. anyone who knows me should know that i am a prideful person. i dont like to be the person taking the initiative all the time. you can say that i think too much, and i have to agree that i do have an overactive imagination, but there is nothing you can do to stop me. i am a stubborn person, nobody can change my mind, unless i convince myself to change it. and that would take quite a few factors to provide the basis for change. call me immature, whatever. i am what i am like now, i cant help feeling what i am feeling. the guys just dont understand. im not saying that nobody loves me, in fact, i realised that people DO love me. and maybe you all do too, but its just that, i feel that i dont belong, and that's it. will yall stop forcing me?
everybody loves hearing good stuff about themselves.
i can be quite kou shi xin fei sometimes.
i am soft hearted too.
eventually i'll convince myself to change my mind.
please do remember that i do have my pride.
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my goodness. i. am. feeling. so. stressed.

i think im gonna do badly for my exams. omg, HELP!

to tell yall the truth, i really do want to get >70percent for my overall grades. and i have a feeling that i wouldnt be able to. sigh.

going to sleep now, instead of doing work/studying. really tired.



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