haha. i think i was rather foolish. thinking about all the things ive done in th past, i think it was all quite pointless, and stupid. maybe even childish. lol, but its cool, cos its all in the past now (:

i've finally opened my eyes now yeah, i finally see everything for what it is. some people, ive realised, are plain childish and self absorbed. and all those deep words and ideology that they've expressed in the past, its just plain childish and ridiculous now that i think about it. it all boils down to a stupid idea, an idealistic idea, that is totally naive. and yeah they kinda think that they are so noble, when actually they are just self-centred.they only care about themselves. reading those stuffs make me amused, cos i realise how immature they can be. haha. nvm its okay, at least ive seen. all those past stuffs, those that made me so emo, are all meaningless now. i walked past starbucks today, and i dint even feel anything. and i saw that stationery shop, felt nothing too. haha. interesting eh. i dont really care anymore, cos i kinda look down on that person now. that person deserves nothing from me, cos that person's just not worth it.

fine, now that the ranting is over.

ah, im really tired. haha. was dozing off during physics today. not because its boring or anything, but just because i was tired. haha. need to sleep early today man! lol.

okay the term ahead will be a busy one. now that the year2s are all having mid years, i should mug too (: remember last year hols i mugged a lot cos i mugged with that. hmm.. should do that this year. two years of work tested for eoys this year. WILL DIE!

lol jiayou may!

ah, this will probably be my last post for a while. lol, cos im returning the laptop to thong tomorrow. thanks ah mr thong (:

yay no more distraction! mugger may (:

世界上最远的距离（泰戈尔）

世界上最遥远的距离，
不是生与死
而是我就站在你的面前，
你却不知道我爱你

世界上最遥远的距离，
不是我站在你面前，你却不知道我爱你
而是明明知道彼此相爱，
却不能在一起

世界上最遥远的距离，
不是明明知道彼此相爱，却不能在一起
而是明明无法抵挡这股想念，
却还得故意装作丝毫没有把你放在心里

世界上最遥远的距离，
不是明明无法抵挡这股想念，却还得故意装作丝毫没有把你放在心里
而是用自己冷漠的心，
对爱你的人掘了一条无法跨越的沟渠

reposting this. cos i still think its really beautiful.

sorry . ):

you know i like to eat.
really really.

haha and i always crave for food in the middle of night, ie, NOW.

i feel like having

starbucks java chip frappucino
mango strudel
klang original bak kut teh
cha yeh dan (tea leaf egg)
taco pachi
yakitori
cheesestick from beard papa
donuts
mushroom soup
mussels

YUM!

AHHH. i really wanna eat. but then again, when i have to eat a proper meal, i dont have an appetite. uh, see i only eat junk food. no wonder my thighs are so PHAT. ):

look at that least of food there, doesnt it make you salivate?

acting the sleuth

okay so i went to get my passport today. biometric passport is cool. haha okay i know this is a bit slow but its like, there's this hard card in it. way cool. oh i had to retake a photo. i waited close to one hour of it okay, was damn irritated. i dont believe i look any different from last year. rah. but nevermind its over.

yeah so i went for lunch with my sister. we were both starving haha. ate that pasta thingy at detoast in bugis. it was quite nice haha, or maybe we were just hungry. yeap. basically jut spent time with my sister la lol. bought a pair of denim shorts too.

hmm lavender and bugis brought back memories. thank goodness i didnt go to pasta mania for dinner or it would be triple kill! haha. yeah got emo at some points, but it was okay la. kinda tried to forget everything. yeah i realise that when im out with my sister we spend money quite easily (: shared a java chip, yeah and bought apple strudel! yum yum (:

haha okay so i wasted my whole evening. cos i wanted to 'play the sleuth' and find somebody's blog. but what the hell! i found the url in the end, just that that blog was deleted. so irritated yeah. it was really a waste of my time =/ RAH. so i wasted one evening when i could be doing my chinese project. feel like shooting myself. argh!

uh yeah so i was dumb. =/

okay shall do that dumb chinese project now. ciao!

hello people, change of blogskin!

haha havent changed by blog skin since 2005, so i guess its really away with the old! (:

haha dont bother about all the emo stuff yeah, i chose this blogskin cos i thought it looked nice. the words have no link at all to me yeah. haha i just like the layout.

hmm i might change the blogskin back to my old one if i feel to nolstagic :'(
haha but probably not la. (:

umm yeah, i changed the font for my tagboard too. might not be very clear now cos the punctuation are all subscripts =/ oh well im too lazy to change it back.

ahh its 2.35am now. what a serious waste of my time. lol. okay then off to sleep.
night people (:

oh and can someone please help me?

rojak or hai nan ji fan?

LOL!

see the thing is, you can only be able to let go of something properly when the memories dont affect you anymore. and its hard, although im working hard on that.

maybe i should stop thinking about it. could work.. afterall, what was said in the past, doesnt hold true anymore. maybe i was just blind huh, those words dont mean anything anymore. they were just that, honeyed words.

wish i could just say im fine and go on.

nvm, i believe i can do it.

CANT WAIT TO SEE 06v11 AGAIN (:


LEEEELEEEEEE! xD

im going to lavendar to collect my new passport tomorrow. that biometric thingy. quite interesting ah. hope there wont be la long queue. =/ going to lavendar brings back memories ):

oh and i went dhoby ghaut today. haha felt so sad to be there. but nevermind, alicea cheered me up with her gelare treat, yay. and i ate pepper lunch too. haha plaza sing holds bad memories, shall try to go there less.

sometimes i think, what right do you have to be so happy whenever you see them together? cos afterall, you shared nothing special with them. i have that right more than you do.

and then i remember, yeah maybe youre just like me. sentimental and happy to see them coexisting happily, just like the old times.

see that's the problem with me. i cant share.

Guys Like That You're Sensitive

And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of way You just get most guys - even if you're not trying to Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships!

What Do Guys Like About You?

very true, but generally not long lasting.

Never Date an Aries

Impatient, restless, and selfish - it's a lot of work to make an Aries happy. And if you drop the ball, your Aries will be gone faster than you can say "I'm sorry"! Instead try dating: Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio, or Pisces

What Sign Shouldn't You Date?

You Are Grape

You are bold and a true individual. You are very different and very okay with that. People know you as a straight shooter. You're very honest, even when the truth hurts. You are also very grounded and practical. No one is going to sneak anything by you. People enjoy your fresh approach to life. And it's this honesty that makes you a very innovative person.

What Color Purple Are You?

interesting..

Your True Love Is a Gemini

Why you'll love a Gemini: Witty and sharp, a Gemini can keep up with your fast (and ever changing) mind. You're both fun loving and free spirits. You and a Gemini can enjoy each other without expectations. Why a Gemini will love you: Not only can you keep up with a Gemini's sharp tongue, you can introduce a challenge or two... You're appetite for fun and novelty will keep a Gemini interested - at least for a bit longer than usual!

What Sign Is Your True Love?

hahaha!

Your Mind is PG-13 Rated

Your mind is definitely a little dirty. You're naughty, but not trashy. You don't shy away from a dirty joke, and you're clearly not a prude.

Do You Have a Dirty Mind?

haha see im so innocent (:

You Are Somewhat Mature

You definitely act like an adult sometimes, but a big part of you is still a kid at heart. While your immature side is definitely fun, you're going to have to grow up sooner or later.

Are You Immature?

muaha SEE!

You Are a Drama Princess (or Prince)

You're not over the top dramatic, but you have your moments. You know how to steal the spotlight... And how to act out to get your way. People around you know that you're good for a laugh. But at times, your drama gets a bit too much for everyone. Tone it down a tad, and you'll still be the center of attention.

Are You a Drama Queen (or King)?

nah dont agree.

You Should Date An Italian!

You love for old fashioned romance, with an old fashioned guy An Italian guy is the perfect candidate to be your prince charming If your head doesn't spin enough, just down another espresso with him Invest in a motorcycle helmet - and some carb blocker for all that pasta!

Which Foreign Guy Should You Date?

woo hoo! ((:

You Follow Your Heart

You're romantic, sentimental, and emotional. You tend to fall in (and out of) love very quickly. Some may call you fickle, but you can't help where your emotions take you. You've definitely broken a few hearts, but you're not a heartbreaker by nature. Your intentions are always good, even if they change with the wind

Do You Follow Your Head or Your Heart?

i am not!

You Are A Romantic Realist

You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance. Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know. And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball... But you'd never admit it to your friends!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

You Will Be a Cool Parent

You seem to naturally know a lot about parenting, and you know what kids need. You can tell when it's time to let kids off the hook, and when it's time to lay down the law. While your parenting is modern and hip, it's not over the top. You know that there's nothing cool about a parent who acts like a teenager... or a drill sergeant!

Would You Be a Cool Parent?

You Probably Look Younger Than Your Age

You live a healthy lifestyle and know how to take care of yourself. You'll probably have a youthful glow for many years.

Do You Look Your Age?

oops.

You Are 12% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm. Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

How Evil Are You?

You Are Straight

There's not much queer about you. So let's just say you're straight... but not narrow.

What's Your Sexual Orientation?

You Would Choose Money

You know that love doesn't always last forever - but money can. Why bother with jealousy, petty fights, and hurt feelings? You rather just go shopping! And while marrying for money may be lonely, you'll always be well dressed, well traveled, and well fed.

Would You Choose Love or Money?

yep that's me!

You Are Medium Maintenance

You aren't as hard to deal with as some girls But you aren't the most laid back chick either You're easy to deal with 90% of the time, but watch out for that 10%! If the guy you are with has good intentions, then calm down a little But if he's really screwing up, don't waste your breath - move on :-)

Are You A High Maintenance Woman?

You Are 32% Girly

You are a pretty hardcore tomboy, and a very free spirit. Gender roles be dammed, you like to do things your way.

How Girly Are You?

SEE! ((:

haha okay i was just wasting my time. procrastinating in other words. i should be doing research for chinese =/

okay ciao for now.

okay, so ive been tagged twice =/ so no choice la, gotta do.

According to the rules of the theme:People who are tagged should write a blog post of 7 weird things about them as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 7 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'You are tagged' in their comments and tell them to read your blog."

(I) erm, i dunno, i am freakishly purple? like no matter where i am, there is always some part of me that is purple. lol.

(II) i get sick of purple some times too. lol, bet that came as a shock. but i still love purple 90% of the time.

(III) erm i've read at close to 20 books this whole june hols.

(IV) i like to drink f&n zappel (:

(V) i like to paint black nails, which totally doesnt suit my image.

(VI) i hope to revert back to my old sec2 'nerdy girl' image when school reopens.

(VII) im the shortest girl in my class, although im not very short in the first place. =/

i shant tag people cos im NICE (:

okay, did you all know, that when pee is first passed out, it doesnt stink? it is only after some time that the pee starts to stink, cos it gets exposed to the air. the longer the pee is exposed to the air, the smellier it gets. and once it gets smellier, flies get attracted to it. and then they'll keep hovering around it cos they get attracted to the smell. so, the pee and the flies than become one big entity, an irritating one too.

hahaha okay wad nonsense. this is all taken out of context so nobody will understand it. lol, have fun deciphering (:

the word 'broke' reminds me of the days when i was nice enough to donate money to save my friend.

lol $1 per day. how ridiculous right.

in retrospect, what i did was probably not appreciated, maybe even taken for granted.

no matter how i try,
i cant seem to find that magic again.

okay the rainbow was just a figment of my imagination.

was listening to the recordings from SOV 2006. haha felt so nolstalgic all of a sudden. i love the songs from SOV 2006, all very nice (: esp hear my prayer and sit down and binnama! omg i love binnama, really miss singing it ): was trying to remember the actions from sit down and binnama somemore. haha, really miss those times with choreo. it was really fun (: haha and rock around the clock, really miss that dancing too! it was fun, haha dancing with martin (: the prospect of not being able to sing those songs anymore saddens me. like next year, the only ppl who will be able to sing those songs with me will be martin and isabelle. ): sigh, it’s a lonely thought. i can still remember those times when Marcus made us sing around the LT, and different groups of people were picked to stand in the middle to listen. haha surround sound, that was quite cool. (:

yeah, and just really miss the whole of my choir life in 2006. it felt so carefree and fun, with the year 2s being year 1s last year. all the outings and stuff, swimming, going to dawn’s hse etc etc. sigh, now they are all so busy mugging. ):

yeah and was looking at my Malacca pics. really miss those times too. its like now most of the year twos wont be going to pattaya. )): who am i gonna take pictures with? haha, i just have this feeling that i’ll be a loner there, with no one to stick with. sigh. yeah Malacca was really fun and peaceful. its like we were going there for a holiday with friends. haha. and i remember we kept buying cakes from secret recipe. haha.

Some pictures,

my monkey and jerrold's haohao lol!

the dunmanians (:

the girls who went malacca.

yizha and i (: the pearls look nice with blazer yeah. hahaha.

the cat high guys.

i was certain i saw a rainbow.

or maybe it was just an illusion.

i dont know why
but im feeling tons better now anyway.
thanks.

my future husband! (:

his face will grow bigger than mine in 15yrs time xD

i dint do it for you.
i did it for myself.

rainbows dont appear often.
and when they do, they look so beautiful and amazing.
and nice and big and pretty (:

it makes you smile just by looking at it.

but rainbows fade fast.
one moment it's there, and the next moment it's not.
right lee lee?
my rainbow's fading, fast.
):

i sat in front of the computer the whole day today.

and when i stood up and stretched,
i heard "crack, crack, crack, crack".


cool huh.

sometimes i just dont get it.
okay not just it, basically everythng in life.

i really gotta tell myself not to fall into her shoes.
cos i know what his reactions will be like.
i saw it for myself and it struck me pretty hard.
cos i really felt sorry for her.
poor her.
poor me.


i guess it'll be a long time before i can truly open up to anyone new.
guess my small little fragile heart can only take that much hurt and pain.

anyway, i dont want to be sad. and i think im not. cos i dont really wake up with that heavy feeling on my heart anymore. there are even days when i look at my phone and grin like an idiot. seriously, its just like the old days. only its with someone different. but im very wary of approaching something new. because im scared of the hurt that accompanies it. it'll be a long time before i can really trust someone with all my heart again.

i gave away a portion of my heart, and although that portion will never come back, it can heal afterall. and im waiting, and waiting for it to heal. and its healing, slowly but surely, it is (:

haha i dunno why im ranting about all these. just that i think im not the sort of person who lists down everything that she did in the day. im more of the sort who will talk about her feelings. although ive been told many times too not to wear my heart on my sleeve. ah well.

this is the last time im gonna write anything concerning it anymore.
no more.
no more sad posts.

haha and that will mean that i'll blog less. whoops.

okay bye people!

sometimes i get this feeling that im over reacting.
and that things dont affect the other party anymore.
maybe i was just too self absorbed to think that i was important enough, to be able to affect them still.

they have, afterall, moved on.

sigh.

dumb stupid me.

Create your own Friend Test here

do this (:

everybody's not where they are supposed to be.
i guess that's the end of us.

**

having to give something up sucks,
but i guess it's only inevitable.

**

anyway, i must say im decidedly letting go.
haha i took how long?
bout 6 months before i could get down to trying to let it go.
but oh well, at least im trying now.

**

i know its weird to hear me say this, but i kinda miss 06v11! haha. i like this feeling, that anticipation of seeing my classmates again. yeah and i kinda realised that this is the last hols that 06v11 has together. this will be the last hols when i can look forward to seeing the class when sch reopens. cos from next hols onwards, we'll all be seperated.

):

i really wanna treasure 06v11 now. cos i really really have grown to love this class. the people here are so great, and no matter what people say, i still do believe that most of us have this bond with each other. (:

yes and i love that sense of cohesiveness in class, the general atmosphere in class is quite alright. save for a few intruders at time that spoils the ambience, the class generally has this air of friendliness. (:

yes and its further decorated alr (: i love the way our classroom is so personalised. xD

i cant wait for class chalet at the end of this hols, even though it hasnt even been booked! hahah. well hope the new class com will book the chalet earlier this year, so we wont burn a whole in our pockets (: yeah cant wait cant wait!

**

oh and i miss the yeartwos! haha only met up once during this hols, but i guess its quite enough for me to keep me happy. i've lowered my expectations quite a lot, i guess just seeing them once in a while is enough. its cool though haha, that almost everyone turned up for an impromptu dinner. (:

i love all of you!

**

im learning to not let things bother me.
i should be happy anyway,
for you,
all of you (:

im glad that you all are having fun,
even though im not in the picture,
i guess that's fine too.
what matters is that yall are happy!

smile xD

**

im happy enough with my life now anyway,
just be optimistic!
cos i believe that when there's a down, there'll be an up.

the up's my class now anyway. ((:
oh oh and the sistas too xD

cheers everybody!