sigh

i seriously think i screw up my life.


choir was B-O-R-I-N-G today. or maybe its just that i never really talk to them today. sigh. damn tiring la. sigh and i hate my tone. suck. imma lousy singer. sigh.

oh hanged out around rayrin mostly today. haha people are starting scandals-.- whatever. yep and i got to know this new guy, called xian yong. haha genrong lookalike! (: heh. and rayrin's found a new gay partner(xianyong)! hahaha. im happy for him(:

oh and im starting to dislike hanging out with -them.. its like. i've got nothing to say. and yep, some people irritate me to no end. maybe im the one who's making things difficult for myself. but oh well, its not as if they care about me. even if i were to leave them, and be a loner, they wouldnt miss me. so its alright.. i shall just go home everyday and yep like rot or something. oh maybe i shall be a full time mugger. mugging is good.

so many things happened ytd. and the thing that happened in the morning got me freaking pissed. what the hell. 'being frank is a virtue'. MY ASS. you all were bitching about me ok, BEHIND MY BACK, just that, oh too bad, i was standing behind you all. and heard EVERY SINGLE THING you all said. fine maybe one of you said, sorry. but the other one, still has to cheek to say 'i stopped saying because i've finished 'bitching''. MOTHER FUCK. stop making excuses.

sometimes i realise things are not what i expected. take this whole week for example, i couldnt find ANYONE when i needed someone. no one in class, no one in choir, no one in dhs that i can go too. suddenly i realise that im actually alone. i have no body to go to. sigh. i'm just a freaking ip kid after all, who cares about me?

i really should keep my mouth shut about all these things. its like, people will say that im the one who's making things difficult for myself, and yet has the cheek to come and whine. but its like, i cant help it. you think i like being miserable?

im trying to master the art of keeping my lips sealed =/