i saw it coming, why didnt i stop it?
maybe a part of me didnt want to stop it.
im making it difficult for them.
who says i make it easy for anyone?
some things cant be broken like that.
i do feel bad you know.
im on the path of destruction.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
sometimes, i really dont understand myself. why am i doing all these?
**
today was the last day of SCO prac, and also, the last performance of the yeartwos. it wasnt as fun as yesterday, but i really loved the way the choir came together, that feeling of magic, i lost it just before SOV, it hasnt been back until today. i was able to feel those goosebumps when we were singing, and the most fascinating part is that we havent sung those songs for ages. yes, it really felt great to sing those songs all over again, our concert songs, our competition songs. yes. i really love vjchoir. those moments of bondedness are rare, but when it comes, it really leaves you feeling all sweet and warm inside.
somehow, i'll miss the yeartwos. although i'm not very close to them, but seeing them go is equivalent to losing a BIG part of choir. i really dont know how to put what i am feeling into words. words arent enough. but nevermind, i shall try to elaborate. yes, so even though i dont talk much to the yeartwos, at least we are all a part of vjchoir. and yes i'll REALLY miss the sopsies. once again, even though i dont talk to them often, but we ARE the sopsies afterall. we love the yeartwo sopsies, and the yeartwo sopsies love us. choir will feel so empty without all of them.
my snr; john gan
my best friend; wei jie
da de; nicholas
my thunderthighs; jeremy chia
oey; jeremy yeo
although im not really VERY close to these people, they are my crapping partners. they really did brighten up my life in choir. and i really want to thank all of them, for crapping and what not with me. YEARTWOS, WE'LL MISS YOU ALL. seriously.
yes and today is the 'last day' of practice for the yearzeros too. i told myself to treasure these few remaining times, but i did not, and i screwed everything up. and it ended on a bad note, how great yeah. i really am quite heartless and wilful sometimes, ok maybe not sometimes; ALL THE TIME. sigh.
anyway, from this point onwards, it'll be an interesting time for the yearones. according to the yeartwos, this will be a time when the yearones bond and come together as a batch. its the time when we find an identity for ourselves. how exciting! (: seriously, i have no doubts as to whether the year1 batch will sound good. i am sure that we will be able to succeed as a batch, and to be able to be like the yeartwo batch, or even better (: yes i'm looking forward to dialogue on monday.
i feel like im typing crap in this post. all my sentences are incoherent =/
but whatever it is,
I LOVE VJCHOIR.
NO MAN IS AN ISLAND.
**
today was the last day of SCO prac, and also, the last performance of the yeartwos. it wasnt as fun as yesterday, but i really loved the way the choir came together, that feeling of magic, i lost it just before SOV, it hasnt been back until today. i was able to feel those goosebumps when we were singing, and the most fascinating part is that we havent sung those songs for ages. yes, it really felt great to sing those songs all over again, our concert songs, our competition songs. yes. i really love vjchoir. those moments of bondedness are rare, but when it comes, it really leaves you feeling all sweet and warm inside.
somehow, i'll miss the yeartwos. although i'm not very close to them, but seeing them go is equivalent to losing a BIG part of choir. i really dont know how to put what i am feeling into words. words arent enough. but nevermind, i shall try to elaborate. yes, so even though i dont talk much to the yeartwos, at least we are all a part of vjchoir. and yes i'll REALLY miss the sopsies. once again, even though i dont talk to them often, but we ARE the sopsies afterall. we love the yeartwo sopsies, and the yeartwo sopsies love us. choir will feel so empty without all of them.
my snr; john gan
my best friend; wei jie
da de; nicholas
my thunderthighs; jeremy chia
oey; jeremy yeo
although im not really VERY close to these people, they are my crapping partners. they really did brighten up my life in choir. and i really want to thank all of them, for crapping and what not with me. YEARTWOS, WE'LL MISS YOU ALL. seriously.
yes and today is the 'last day' of practice for the yearzeros too. i told myself to treasure these few remaining times, but i did not, and i screwed everything up. and it ended on a bad note, how great yeah. i really am quite heartless and wilful sometimes, ok maybe not sometimes; ALL THE TIME. sigh.
anyway, from this point onwards, it'll be an interesting time for the yearones. according to the yeartwos, this will be a time when the yearones bond and come together as a batch. its the time when we find an identity for ourselves. how exciting! (: seriously, i have no doubts as to whether the year1 batch will sound good. i am sure that we will be able to succeed as a batch, and to be able to be like the yeartwo batch, or even better (: yes i'm looking forward to dialogue on monday.
i feel like im typing crap in this post. all my sentences are incoherent =/
but whatever it is,
I LOVE VJCHOIR.
NO MAN IS AN ISLAND.
Saturday, July 29, 2006
im getting rather tired of studying, of choir, of everything in my life.
how wonderful it would be if i could just stop everything i am doing now, and just do something that does not involve stress?
**
SCO's coming to an end soon, tmr'll be the last practice(the 2nd concert). im feeling bittersweet. sweet, that SCO is finally ending, all the long and tiring pracs, all gone. bitter, because i really will miss the times spent with the year0s, year1s and year2s. meeting up with rayrin and xianyong before proceeding to SCH, all those intervals where we sat in a circle and crapped, hugging people all the time, going home and bitching with isabelle (: yes. it is really a time of great bonding.
speaking of bonding, the choir somehow decided to sing sit down and hear my prayer as a kind of warm up today. as i was singing it, i suddenly felt so proud of being in vjchoir, and that vjchoir is not as clique-ish as what people outside make us sound like. yes, we may have our own friendship groups, but ultimately, we are still one choir. it really shows in the way we can always come together, anytime, anywhere and make good music. i felt really touched when i was singing, i realised that i do belong in vjchoir. everyone of us do, every single one.
through all these SCO's pracs, i've realised a lot of things. i actually DO have a lot of people who care for me. i always think too much, and let my emotions get the better of me, causing me to do or say things that hurt others, as well as myself. i really should just try to relax and be optimistic. it makes life easier anyway.
im really going to miss SCO pracs. and the year0s! they're not going to come for prac anymore, and the next time i see them is probably during carolling. sigh, it'll be a long wait ): i should really try my best to spend more time with them tmr. enjoy and appreciate every moment that comes tmr. yes.
yes and i should stop displaying my emotions. its like, i really should stop all those bitching posts. but then again, when im angry, there's no telling what i can do. and that is really bad. people think that i am such a complete bitch. sigh. but bitching helps me to feel better.. oh well. i should try, and learn to grow up, and take things in my stride. i shall try to be a nice girl.
im getting rather sick of choir, its really tiring, i really want a break on monday, there is A LOT of catching up for me to do(in terms of schoolwork). i dont want to lag behind. sigh. and even though i am rather sick of choir, i just want to say
I LOVE VJCHOIR,
no man is an island.
how ironic =/
how wonderful it would be if i could just stop everything i am doing now, and just do something that does not involve stress?
**
SCO's coming to an end soon, tmr'll be the last practice(the 2nd concert). im feeling bittersweet. sweet, that SCO is finally ending, all the long and tiring pracs, all gone. bitter, because i really will miss the times spent with the year0s, year1s and year2s. meeting up with rayrin and xianyong before proceeding to SCH, all those intervals where we sat in a circle and crapped, hugging people all the time, going home and bitching with isabelle (: yes. it is really a time of great bonding.
speaking of bonding, the choir somehow decided to sing sit down and hear my prayer as a kind of warm up today. as i was singing it, i suddenly felt so proud of being in vjchoir, and that vjchoir is not as clique-ish as what people outside make us sound like. yes, we may have our own friendship groups, but ultimately, we are still one choir. it really shows in the way we can always come together, anytime, anywhere and make good music. i felt really touched when i was singing, i realised that i do belong in vjchoir. everyone of us do, every single one.
through all these SCO's pracs, i've realised a lot of things. i actually DO have a lot of people who care for me. i always think too much, and let my emotions get the better of me, causing me to do or say things that hurt others, as well as myself. i really should just try to relax and be optimistic. it makes life easier anyway.
im really going to miss SCO pracs. and the year0s! they're not going to come for prac anymore, and the next time i see them is probably during carolling. sigh, it'll be a long wait ): i should really try my best to spend more time with them tmr. enjoy and appreciate every moment that comes tmr. yes.
yes and i should stop displaying my emotions. its like, i really should stop all those bitching posts. but then again, when im angry, there's no telling what i can do. and that is really bad. people think that i am such a complete bitch. sigh. but bitching helps me to feel better.. oh well. i should try, and learn to grow up, and take things in my stride. i shall try to be a nice girl.
im getting rather sick of choir, its really tiring, i really want a break on monday, there is A LOT of catching up for me to do(in terms of schoolwork). i dont want to lag behind. sigh. and even though i am rather sick of choir, i just want to say
I LOVE VJCHOIR,
no man is an island.
how ironic =/
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
I CANT STAND HER LUH!
i seriously CANNOT stand her leh. omg. ok fine maybe i'm just as whiney and act cute as she is, but come on, at least most of the girls in choir like me right? ohman, she's so irritating! they're my friends alright. ARGH. i cant stand it. she just barges into everything. sucks la! who does she think she is? she's not in my clique alright. i wonder why the guys can stand her, seriously. do a survey with all the girls, and you'll probably find that none of them like her, they are either neutral with her, or they dislike her. this sucks. fine i know some of the guys were her friends from the start, and i'm not blaming her for 'catching up' with her old friends. but then, its really irritating you know, when im making new friends and she just barges in like *that*. argh. i cant cant cant stand her! and now he's probably irritated with me that i told people about her scandals, but HEY, if she could be so open about it. why cant i say it? she's so public about it, the whole of dhs knows about it luh. even if i dint say, they would find out from their dhs friends. ohwell, he just sides her luh, no matter what i say, it wouldnt matter. she's the greatest, yeah yeah whatever. i really cannot bear to lose my new friends to her luh. she's so irritating. and fickle minded, yesyes with all those 3-min scandals that never last long. i dont want any of my friends to be the victim alright. sigh. this sucks. big time. i cant wait for her to graduate, but even if she's graduated, she'll still come back for carolling. sigh. yeah and by the time she's gone, new irritants will come in. sigh. )):
yes i know that he'll probably be even more irritated with me when he sees this, but you know what. i really cant stand it anymore, i needa blog about it. because i cant bitch to the guys about her, they're all her friends-.- this is shit man. i dont think i was wrong to gossip/bitch about her anyway. because, no. 1, she's not my friend, and no.2, i dont like her, right from the start. -.- sigh.
**
anyway, picture of the day!
i seriously CANNOT stand her leh. omg. ok fine maybe i'm just as whiney and act cute as she is, but come on, at least most of the girls in choir like me right? ohman, she's so irritating! they're my friends alright. ARGH. i cant stand it. she just barges into everything. sucks la! who does she think she is? she's not in my clique alright. i wonder why the guys can stand her, seriously. do a survey with all the girls, and you'll probably find that none of them like her, they are either neutral with her, or they dislike her. this sucks. fine i know some of the guys were her friends from the start, and i'm not blaming her for 'catching up' with her old friends. but then, its really irritating you know, when im making new friends and she just barges in like *that*. argh. i cant cant cant stand her! and now he's probably irritated with me that i told people about her scandals, but HEY, if she could be so open about it. why cant i say it? she's so public about it, the whole of dhs knows about it luh. even if i dint say, they would find out from their dhs friends. ohwell, he just sides her luh, no matter what i say, it wouldnt matter. she's the greatest, yeah yeah whatever. i really cannot bear to lose my new friends to her luh. she's so irritating. and fickle minded, yesyes with all those 3-min scandals that never last long. i dont want any of my friends to be the victim alright. sigh. this sucks. big time. i cant wait for her to graduate, but even if she's graduated, she'll still come back for carolling. sigh. yeah and by the time she's gone, new irritants will come in. sigh. )):
yes i know that he'll probably be even more irritated with me when he sees this, but you know what. i really cant stand it anymore, i needa blog about it. because i cant bitch to the guys about her, they're all her friends-.- this is shit man. i dont think i was wrong to gossip/bitch about her anyway. because, no. 1, she's not my friend, and no.2, i dont like her, right from the start. -.- sigh.
**
anyway, picture of the day!
hahahaha. xianyong looks rather retarded=/, btw that's the reason i put it up. lol. hope he doesnt see this anytime soon. if not he'll kill me. haha! ohwell he's not coming online today. haha poor guy, he's sick. aww take care and recover soon alright (:
Monday, July 24, 2006
Sunday, July 23, 2006
so many things happened today.
i went for choir in high spirits today, haha, cos i got to dress up! super fun (: i love dressing up, its like, you stand in front of your wardrobe and you think of what you are going to wear. and then, you pick and choose to make sure that everything matches. after that, you think about the accessories that you are gonna, what bag youre gonna use, and yep just everything! haha. super duper fun (: ok im talking nonsense here =/
so, back to the point. met rayrin up and went to SCH together. yep and then there was choir. haha. time passed quickly and slowly.. haha i dont know how to say. but yep shuwei and i were talking quite a lot=/ haha sorry i wasnt really concentrating! ):
went for lunch with the choir people, and the year zero guys of course. haha. yah didnt really feel good. i was trying to keep those tears in. and after talking to oliver, i kinda broke down in the end. how maluating! went with yuting to a corner and had sorta like a 'confrontation'. yeah talked things over and i sorta calmed down. went back to them and then we played zong ji mi ma, shoot shag marry, and truth or dare. LOL. truth or dare was the funniest!
the first one: yizha; haha he went to the fishball uncle and said,
(translated into english) 'uncle you got enough balls? want some of mine?'
hahahaha. super funny. i was the 'recorder'. haha! and the uncle was rather nice too. haha cos we told him eventually that we were playing a game. haha.
the second, and the BESTEST one: oliver; he was supposed to go to the middle of laupasat and shout 'IM GAY' and do his ballerina pose. lol he did it, but it was rather pathetic, so we made him do another dare. in the end, he went to sit in the children's cars, you know those thingys that will move and play music when you insert coins. haha yah. so he sat there and we took a video. LOL it was SUPER humiliating la. haha. and oliver, he couldnt even fit into the car! haha. duper funny luhs. yep.
after that went with xianyong and rayrin to watch pirates. haha. slacked around before watching the show. yep. the show was rather nice la. haha. wasnt as bad as i thought. haha, but the guys were like falling asleep? haha. yeah. but i liked it la. haha.
anyway, went home soon after that. kinda kena scolded =/
ohwell. anyway, ITS REALLY IRRITATING YOU KNOW. the whole, 'may, stop flirting!' and the 'may, so scandalous ah!' thing. ohman its really really irritating. come on la, rayrin's my snr, i've known him since forever! and its like, xianyong's my new friend luh, period. can yall just SHUT UP about all that anot . i really hate it when people call me a flirt. im not one ok. so just STFU. ah. cant stand it. blardy irritating.
anyway, i think high school musical's nice! but i never got to watch it before ): still waiting for my chance.. haha.
High School Musical - Breaking Free
i went for choir in high spirits today, haha, cos i got to dress up! super fun (: i love dressing up, its like, you stand in front of your wardrobe and you think of what you are going to wear. and then, you pick and choose to make sure that everything matches. after that, you think about the accessories that you are gonna, what bag youre gonna use, and yep just everything! haha. super duper fun (: ok im talking nonsense here =/
so, back to the point. met rayrin up and went to SCH together. yep and then there was choir. haha. time passed quickly and slowly.. haha i dont know how to say. but yep shuwei and i were talking quite a lot=/ haha sorry i wasnt really concentrating! ):
went for lunch with the choir people, and the year zero guys of course. haha. yah didnt really feel good. i was trying to keep those tears in. and after talking to oliver, i kinda broke down in the end. how maluating! went with yuting to a corner and had sorta like a 'confrontation'. yeah talked things over and i sorta calmed down. went back to them and then we played zong ji mi ma, shoot shag marry, and truth or dare. LOL. truth or dare was the funniest!
the first one: yizha; haha he went to the fishball uncle and said,
(translated into english) 'uncle you got enough balls? want some of mine?'
hahahaha. super funny. i was the 'recorder'. haha! and the uncle was rather nice too. haha cos we told him eventually that we were playing a game. haha.
the second, and the BESTEST one: oliver; he was supposed to go to the middle of laupasat and shout 'IM GAY' and do his ballerina pose. lol he did it, but it was rather pathetic, so we made him do another dare. in the end, he went to sit in the children's cars, you know those thingys that will move and play music when you insert coins. haha yah. so he sat there and we took a video. LOL it was SUPER humiliating la. haha. and oliver, he couldnt even fit into the car! haha. duper funny luhs. yep.
after that went with xianyong and rayrin to watch pirates. haha. slacked around before watching the show. yep. the show was rather nice la. haha. wasnt as bad as i thought. haha, but the guys were like falling asleep? haha. yeah. but i liked it la. haha.
anyway, went home soon after that. kinda kena scolded =/
ohwell. anyway, ITS REALLY IRRITATING YOU KNOW. the whole, 'may, stop flirting!' and the 'may, so scandalous ah!' thing. ohman its really really irritating. come on la, rayrin's my snr, i've known him since forever! and its like, xianyong's my new friend luh, period. can yall just SHUT UP about all that anot . i really hate it when people call me a flirt. im not one ok. so just STFU. ah. cant stand it. blardy irritating.
anyway, i think high school musical's nice! but i never got to watch it before ): still waiting for my chance.. haha.
High School Musical - Breaking Free
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
its better to make friends than enemies.
no one is not worth your effort.
if someone does you wrong, it is his fault, but if you do the same, it is your fault.
i suddenly realise that its a waste of my energy to stay angry at that person. why should i let him affect me? from now on, he shall be an accquaintance.
had ct session today. i know its all crap, but it really got me thinking.
am i a good friend?
no one is not worth your effort.
if someone does you wrong, it is his fault, but if you do the same, it is your fault.
i suddenly realise that its a waste of my energy to stay angry at that person. why should i let him affect me? from now on, he shall be an accquaintance.
had ct session today. i know its all crap, but it really got me thinking.
am i a good friend?
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
EH I TELL YOU HOR, that xianyong right.. *psst psst, whisper whisper.
THERE, xianyong, i just bitched about you. haha. see i told you i would. (:
**
anyway, wanted to go watch pirates today. and its like, i msged EIGHT people ok. in the end none of them could go -.- damn sian. i've decided not to try to organise anything anymore, the people who can go wouldnt go with me anyway, waste my msg. so in the end, tried frantically to find some activities for me in the afternoon, asked sherry and she had choral fest -.- damnit im so jealous! i've never been to choral fest! ): yah, so in the end, had to ask rayrin. haha and once again, he was the only one free. see la rayrin so available, nobody wants him except for nice little missmaymay (:
yep had a study session with that closet mugger rayrin. haha. went to macs and sat down to study. yep im like the big sister taking the kiddo out la. haha i help him buy stuff ok (: im friggin nice. heh. so, we kinda studied la. talked alot also, haha but not THAT much. yeah.
yeah so first rayrin saw his eldest sister. den he saw his second sister. haha what a coincidental day. yep and den he saw his doggie sasha. haha. so anyway, his second sister saw us at the bus interchange, and guess what she said? she was like, 'your girlfriend ah?' and i was like, 'omg.' wah damn sian la.
seriously people, there's nothing going on between me and that gay rayrin ok. first of all, rayrin has so many other admirers already (his latest one is xianyong btw. haha!) secondly, and most importantly, HE IS A GAY! haha. how can i like a gay? haha ok im just joking(: yeah, but we're just purely jnr/snr relationship ok. haha im the snr, he's the jnr (: yep. so people, stop saying we're scandalous. its just pure friendship here ok-.-
**
choir again tmr. somehow, not very looking forward to it. im sure its gonna be another crap combine again. sian.
THERE, xianyong, i just bitched about you. haha. see i told you i would. (:
**
anyway, wanted to go watch pirates today. and its like, i msged EIGHT people ok. in the end none of them could go -.- damn sian. i've decided not to try to organise anything anymore, the people who can go wouldnt go with me anyway, waste my msg. so in the end, tried frantically to find some activities for me in the afternoon, asked sherry and she had choral fest -.- damnit im so jealous! i've never been to choral fest! ): yah, so in the end, had to ask rayrin. haha and once again, he was the only one free. see la rayrin so available, nobody wants him except for nice little missmaymay (:
yep had a study session with that closet mugger rayrin. haha. went to macs and sat down to study. yep im like the big sister taking the kiddo out la. haha i help him buy stuff ok (: im friggin nice. heh. so, we kinda studied la. talked alot also, haha but not THAT much. yeah.
yeah so first rayrin saw his eldest sister. den he saw his second sister. haha what a coincidental day. yep and den he saw his doggie sasha. haha. so anyway, his second sister saw us at the bus interchange, and guess what she said? she was like, 'your girlfriend ah?' and i was like, 'omg.' wah damn sian la.
seriously people, there's nothing going on between me and that gay rayrin ok. first of all, rayrin has so many other admirers already (his latest one is xianyong btw. haha!) secondly, and most importantly, HE IS A GAY! haha. how can i like a gay? haha ok im just joking(: yeah, but we're just purely jnr/snr relationship ok. haha im the snr, he's the jnr (: yep. so people, stop saying we're scandalous. its just pure friendship here ok-.-
**
choir again tmr. somehow, not very looking forward to it. im sure its gonna be another crap combine again. sian.
Monday, July 17, 2006
i should believe. i should hold true to the fact that, things will turn better one day. i cant bear to leave them, i've realised. i should keep an open mind and try to deal with it. this way of handling is really wrong.
**
anyway, i've realised that jerrold is like SICK. omg. he is so perverted. cant stand it. haha. yay dunmanIANS unite (:
**
friendships change so fast. sigh.
**
anyway, i've realised that jerrold is like SICK. omg. he is so perverted. cant stand it. haha. yay dunmanIANS unite (:
**
friendships change so fast. sigh.
Sunday, July 16, 2006
i was ironing just now, when i suddenly remembered, all those good times i had with them. they were the ones who showed that they cared for me. why am i asking such questions about whether or not to leave them? they care for me, don't they? they were the ones who bothered to send me off at the airport. & they were the ones i missed the most when i was in japan, how can i bear to leave them? true, they may be older than me, but what difference does an age difference make? im so ungrateful. am i sure that i want to make new friends all over again? maybe this is the 'rough period' that i have to go through, before i can be steadfast friends with them. sigh. i really dont know. most of the time, things arent what they seem to be. i should stop thinking so much. i should hold on to the belief, that they do care for me.
i should see what happens first, before deciding. i dont want to regret again.
i should see what happens first, before deciding. i dont want to regret again.
good english
i shall type in good english here, i dont want to be like a twit-.-
so anyway, i've patched things up with my friends, except for one of them. and i've decided not to care about that person, because he is not worth all the effort that i will have to put in.
yep, now it leaves me with a big decision to make. should i stay with them? i don't want things to come to this, but somehow im inevitably asking myself this question, this horrifying question, that i am even experiencing disbelief that i could ask myself that.
sometimes, i think that i think too much, but i really cant help feeling this way. i dont want this to happen. now i'm struggling, to see what i can do. what should i do? there is this part of me that wants to break away, but there is this other part of me that remembers all the good times spent with them. sigh. i dont know.
**
i've been talking to rayrin and xianyong recently, and by recently, i mean VERY recently. haha. they are, the most childish pair of people i've seen. haha. but they're cute (: they've only known each other for two days? haha and they're brothers already. haha. how interesting (: yep. and they keep bullying me! that is SO unfair. haha. but yeah im happy, that i made a new friend (mr xyz, aka the fish/birdbrain). yay (:
so anyway, i've patched things up with my friends, except for one of them. and i've decided not to care about that person, because he is not worth all the effort that i will have to put in.
yep, now it leaves me with a big decision to make. should i stay with them? i don't want things to come to this, but somehow im inevitably asking myself this question, this horrifying question, that i am even experiencing disbelief that i could ask myself that.
sometimes, i think that i think too much, but i really cant help feeling this way. i dont want this to happen. now i'm struggling, to see what i can do. what should i do? there is this part of me that wants to break away, but there is this other part of me that remembers all the good times spent with them. sigh. i dont know.
**
i've been talking to rayrin and xianyong recently, and by recently, i mean VERY recently. haha. they are, the most childish pair of people i've seen. haha. but they're cute (: they've only known each other for two days? haha and they're brothers already. haha. how interesting (: yep. and they keep bullying me! that is SO unfair. haha. but yeah im happy, that i made a new friend (mr xyz, aka the fish/birdbrain). yay (:
Saturday, July 15, 2006
sigh
i seriously think i screw up my life.
choir was B-O-R-I-N-G today. or maybe its just that i never really talk to them today. sigh. damn tiring la. sigh and i hate my tone. suck. imma lousy singer. sigh.
oh hanged out around rayrin mostly today. haha people are starting scandals-.- whatever. yep and i got to know this new guy, called xian yong. haha genrong lookalike! (: heh. and rayrin's found a new gay partner(xianyong)! hahaha. im happy for him(:
oh and im starting to dislike hanging out with -them.. its like. i've got nothing to say. and yep, some people irritate me to no end. maybe im the one who's making things difficult for myself. but oh well, its not as if they care about me. even if i were to leave them, and be a loner, they wouldnt miss me. so its alright.. i shall just go home everyday and yep like rot or something. oh maybe i shall be a full time mugger. mugging is good.
so many things happened ytd. and the thing that happened in the morning got me freaking pissed. what the hell. 'being frank is a virtue'. MY ASS. you all were bitching about me ok, BEHIND MY BACK, just that, oh too bad, i was standing behind you all. and heard EVERY SINGLE THING you all said. fine maybe one of you said, sorry. but the other one, still has to cheek to say 'i stopped saying because i've finished 'bitching''. MOTHER FUCK. stop making excuses.
sometimes i realise things are not what i expected. take this whole week for example, i couldnt find ANYONE when i needed someone. no one in class, no one in choir, no one in dhs that i can go too. suddenly i realise that im actually alone. i have no body to go to. sigh. i'm just a freaking ip kid after all, who cares about me?
i really should keep my mouth shut about all these things. its like, people will say that im the one who's making things difficult for myself, and yet has the cheek to come and whine. but its like, i cant help it. you think i like being miserable?
im trying to master the art of keeping my lips sealed =/
choir was B-O-R-I-N-G today. or maybe its just that i never really talk to them today. sigh. damn tiring la. sigh and i hate my tone. suck. imma lousy singer. sigh.
oh hanged out around rayrin mostly today. haha people are starting scandals-.- whatever. yep and i got to know this new guy, called xian yong. haha genrong lookalike! (: heh. and rayrin's found a new gay partner(xianyong)! hahaha. im happy for him(:
oh and im starting to dislike hanging out with -them.. its like. i've got nothing to say. and yep, some people irritate me to no end. maybe im the one who's making things difficult for myself. but oh well, its not as if they care about me. even if i were to leave them, and be a loner, they wouldnt miss me. so its alright.. i shall just go home everyday and yep like rot or something. oh maybe i shall be a full time mugger. mugging is good.
so many things happened ytd. and the thing that happened in the morning got me freaking pissed. what the hell. 'being frank is a virtue'. MY ASS. you all were bitching about me ok, BEHIND MY BACK, just that, oh too bad, i was standing behind you all. and heard EVERY SINGLE THING you all said. fine maybe one of you said, sorry. but the other one, still has to cheek to say 'i stopped saying because i've finished 'bitching''. MOTHER FUCK. stop making excuses.
sometimes i realise things are not what i expected. take this whole week for example, i couldnt find ANYONE when i needed someone. no one in class, no one in choir, no one in dhs that i can go too. suddenly i realise that im actually alone. i have no body to go to. sigh. i'm just a freaking ip kid after all, who cares about me?
i really should keep my mouth shut about all these things. its like, people will say that im the one who's making things difficult for myself, and yet has the cheek to come and whine. but its like, i cant help it. you think i like being miserable?
im trying to master the art of keeping my lips sealed =/
Thursday, July 13, 2006
| You Attract A Good Amount of Guys |
 |
HEY. i dont like to flirt, alright! and i dress up too much for my own good, right huping? -.-
| You Are A Relationship Rescuer! |
 |
yay, i rock! (:
| You Are Friends With Potential |
 |
really? >.<
| You've Got a Bit of a Crush |
 |
haha. its more of a convenience i guess (:
| Guys Like That You're Sensitive |
 |
i dont think so.. haha.
| You Don't Need a Man, but You Want One! |
 |
heh that's quite true. but i dont NEED one alright. its a matter of want vs need(: heh.
| You Should Date An Italian! |
 |
eee. but i prefer the french! ):
| You Are Medium Maintenance |
 |
haha, i always thought i was high maintenance =/
| You Are a Super Flirt! |
 |
im not a flirt! haha.
| You Are 52% Bitchy |
 |
yay, im average (:
haha i was just bored-.-
anyway, finished the lang arts test! haha. that's one worry off my mind (: another worry is now the webfolio. ohman. i think im gonna leave the dossier 'under construction'. i simply have no time to do it up. yep. anyway, went out with rayrin today. haha. stupid sherry didnt want to go out with me. sherry, if you're reading this, I DONT WANT TO FRIEND YOU LIAO. how could you leave me? huh, when i wanted to date you. tsk. so yep went to find that bunch of kids, rayrin. haha. yep walked around for a while deciding which black file to buy, eventually found a super cheap one, which he claimed was disgusting-.- eh kiddo, its just a file, alright. haha. and den we went to macs to do homework and gossip. haha. talked quite a lot, from around 5+, 6 to around 8pm ldat. haha. quite fun la. dint realise that we could talk so much. haha. went home after that. managed to complete a bit of my homework la. haha. (:
ok, off to do webfolio now. sigh.
Monday, July 10, 2006
what's up with me and my mood swings? think the people around me really have it hard. oh well, why am i so unsure of myself? i should be confidant of myself, right? sigh.
it suddenly occurred to me today, that people do have feelings afterall. most of the time, people are very self-centred and always think of only themselves. but, have they every realised that people around them DO feel the same way as they do? that whatever he or she is feeling right now, other people have probably felt the same way before, and that they CAN empathise with him or her. it never really occured to me before, that we all have feelings. i mean, sure i'lll say im putting myself in other's shoes, but ive never really tried to feel what they were feeling. sometimes, i think im really selfcentred. i just think about myself, how terrible i feel, but have i ever considered how the people around me felt? yes i really have to grow up. sigh.
it suddenly occurred to me today, that people do have feelings afterall. most of the time, people are very self-centred and always think of only themselves. but, have they every realised that people around them DO feel the same way as they do? that whatever he or she is feeling right now, other people have probably felt the same way before, and that they CAN empathise with him or her. it never really occured to me before, that we all have feelings. i mean, sure i'lll say im putting myself in other's shoes, but ive never really tried to feel what they were feeling. sometimes, i think im really selfcentred. i just think about myself, how terrible i feel, but have i ever considered how the people around me felt? yes i really have to grow up. sigh.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
quiz from jawhen
tagged by JAWHEN so here goes!
Write down the names of twenty people you know. Then, read and answer the questions. You can't look at the questions until you write down the twenty names you're going to use.
actually, ive done this quiz not too long ago, but since jawhen tagged me and there are a few slight variations in these questions, i shall do it. see how much i love my wenwen? haha (:
01. jiawen
02. sherry
03. rhoda
04. yuxuan
05. zhuofei
06. sherman
07. althea
08. huping
09. alicea
10. yiling
11. yuting
12. yizha
13. wanting
14. shuwei
15. oliver
16. jamie
17. rayrin
18. weirui
19. louis
20. jerrold
#09 a boy or a girl?
alicea
haha she's a girl. duh!
Would #01 and #02 make a cute couple?
jiawen and sherry
haha jiawen will be running away from sherry in horror. haha!
How about #18 and #04?
weirui and yuxuan
haha. no way! weirui is my stead alrights! (:
What grade is #17 in?
rayrin
sec4. haha. but he acts more like a kid-.- bunch of kids haha.
When was the last time you talked to #12?
yizha
think it was yesterday.
What is #06's favorite singer?
sherman
ooh i dont know, haha me? HAHA joking (:
Does #01 have any siblings?
jiawen
yep a brother. haha.
Would you ever date #03?
rhoda
not my type =/ haha! no la she's my sista leh ((: and kevin'll prolly kill me anyway. haha.
Would you ever date #07?
althea
im already dating her! haha. she loves me too much luh.
Is #16 single?
jamie
nope (:
What's #15's last name?
oliver
boobies! haha no la, i dont know actually =/
What's #10's middle name?
yiling
yi. (:
What's #05's favorite thing to do?
zhuofei
currently? haha watch green forest and gush about owen. heh.
Is #13 hot?
wan ting
yeah, she's my laogong what. haha.
Would #14 and #19 make a good couple?
shuwei and louis
erm no? shuwei's older than louis -.- and she has thong already.
What school does #20 go to?
jerrold
victoria junior college.
Tell me a random fact about #12.
yizha
it (note the it!) has lovely pretty lips (:
And #03?
rhoda
she's quite mature for a baby. heh.
Have you ever had a crush on #15?
oliver
omg how did you know?! haha actually, no la. (: i only had a crush on his boobies :D
Where does #09 live?
alicea
im not sure. but its somewhere near serangoon?
What's #04's favorite color?
yuxuan
she looks like a yellow type of person. haha, but i guess her fave colour is pink? omg i feel so ashamed, she's my sista and yet i dont know! sorry xuan ):
Would you make out with #12?
yizha
why so many questions about 12?! NOPE! that's gross. haha, anyway i would rather look at its lips then taste it. haha.
Are #05 & #06 best friends?
zhuofei and sherman
nope i dont think they know each other.
Does #07 like #20?
jerrold and althea
haha. althea loves ME! and jerrold, he has someone else in mind le luh!
Does #08 like #19?
huping and louis
haha, i guess so? they're both gays. heh.
How did you meet #02?
sherry
dhschoir! haha. but i dint really get to know her until the beginning of sec2. haha.
How did you meet #12?
yizha
12 again?! haha met it in vjc, more specifically, VJCHOIR! (:
Does #10 have any pets?
yiling
erm nope? haha.
Is #12 older than you?
yizha
AGAIN?! yeap, heaps older! it's an uncle what.
Is # 17 the sexiest person alive, or what?
rayrin
what? NO! haha. so kiddy, how to be sexy. haha.
The five people: haha i know most of these people have already done this before, but i dont care! you all gotta do it again. heh. wan ting, huping, yuting, oliver, yunching. heh (:
Write down the names of twenty people you know. Then, read and answer the questions. You can't look at the questions until you write down the twenty names you're going to use.
actually, ive done this quiz not too long ago, but since jawhen tagged me and there are a few slight variations in these questions, i shall do it. see how much i love my wenwen? haha (:
01. jiawen
02. sherry
03. rhoda
04. yuxuan
05. zhuofei
06. sherman
07. althea
08. huping
09. alicea
10. yiling
11. yuting
12. yizha
13. wanting
14. shuwei
15. oliver
16. jamie
17. rayrin
18. weirui
19. louis
20. jerrold
#09 a boy or a girl?
alicea
haha she's a girl. duh!
Would #01 and #02 make a cute couple?
jiawen and sherry
haha jiawen will be running away from sherry in horror. haha!
How about #18 and #04?
weirui and yuxuan
haha. no way! weirui is my stead alrights! (:
What grade is #17 in?
rayrin
sec4. haha. but he acts more like a kid-.- bunch of kids haha.
When was the last time you talked to #12?
yizha
think it was yesterday.
What is #06's favorite singer?
sherman
ooh i dont know, haha me? HAHA joking (:
Does #01 have any siblings?
jiawen
yep a brother. haha.
Would you ever date #03?
rhoda
not my type =/ haha! no la she's my sista leh ((: and kevin'll prolly kill me anyway. haha.
Would you ever date #07?
althea
im already dating her! haha. she loves me too much luh.
Is #16 single?
jamie
nope (:
What's #15's last name?
oliver
boobies! haha no la, i dont know actually =/
What's #10's middle name?
yiling
yi. (:
What's #05's favorite thing to do?
zhuofei
currently? haha watch green forest and gush about owen. heh.
Is #13 hot?
wan ting
yeah, she's my laogong what. haha.
Would #14 and #19 make a good couple?
shuwei and louis
erm no? shuwei's older than louis -.- and she has thong already.
What school does #20 go to?
jerrold
victoria junior college.
Tell me a random fact about #12.
yizha
it (note the it!) has lovely pretty lips (:
And #03?
rhoda
she's quite mature for a baby. heh.
Have you ever had a crush on #15?
oliver
omg how did you know?! haha actually, no la. (: i only had a crush on his boobies :D
Where does #09 live?
alicea
im not sure. but its somewhere near serangoon?
What's #04's favorite color?
yuxuan
she looks like a yellow type of person. haha, but i guess her fave colour is pink? omg i feel so ashamed, she's my sista and yet i dont know! sorry xuan ):
Would you make out with #12?
yizha
why so many questions about 12?! NOPE! that's gross. haha, anyway i would rather look at its lips then taste it. haha.
Are #05 & #06 best friends?
zhuofei and sherman
nope i dont think they know each other.
Does #07 like #20?
jerrold and althea
haha. althea loves ME! and jerrold, he has someone else in mind le luh!
Does #08 like #19?
huping and louis
haha, i guess so? they're both gays. heh.
How did you meet #02?
sherry
dhschoir! haha. but i dint really get to know her until the beginning of sec2. haha.
How did you meet #12?
yizha
12 again?! haha met it in vjc, more specifically, VJCHOIR! (:
Does #10 have any pets?
yiling
erm nope? haha.
Is #12 older than you?
yizha
AGAIN?! yeap, heaps older! it's an uncle what.
Is # 17 the sexiest person alive, or what?
rayrin
what? NO! haha. so kiddy, how to be sexy. haha.
The five people: haha i know most of these people have already done this before, but i dont care! you all gotta do it again. heh. wan ting, huping, yuting, oliver, yunching. heh (:
Saturday, July 08, 2006
i hate my mood swings.
why is it that there's a twist to everything that happens? why is it that when i expect something to happen, it never does?
choir today was long and boring. in the morning that is. ah. i hate it when mr kwei's not conducting. yep and i was looking forward to having lunch with all of them, those people. and its like, the guys were dismissed so late, we all ended up eating cup noodles at siglap. sian.
and its like, had choir later on. it was fun, in the sense that it was rather interesting and it felt good to blast. haha i blasted like shit today, dont know why. maybe my voice's warming up again after this few weeks of not singing. so had a wider range today, felt good (: anyway, that ye cong guy. he's rather amusing, at first, but after seeing all his retarded actions, i found him rather irritating =/ oh, bai guang was NICE (: yep so after singing for so long, felt rather tired and all that.
after that i wanted to go out with them. but suddenly decided not to again. dont know what's wrong with me. yep and my mood just dipped and dipped. sigh.
i think im a worthless freak. nobody cares about me, or wait, maybe i dont ALLOW others to care for me. what the bloody hell is wrong with me?
why is it that there's a twist to everything that happens? why is it that when i expect something to happen, it never does?
choir today was long and boring. in the morning that is. ah. i hate it when mr kwei's not conducting. yep and i was looking forward to having lunch with all of them, those people. and its like, the guys were dismissed so late, we all ended up eating cup noodles at siglap. sian.
and its like, had choir later on. it was fun, in the sense that it was rather interesting and it felt good to blast. haha i blasted like shit today, dont know why. maybe my voice's warming up again after this few weeks of not singing. so had a wider range today, felt good (: anyway, that ye cong guy. he's rather amusing, at first, but after seeing all his retarded actions, i found him rather irritating =/ oh, bai guang was NICE (: yep so after singing for so long, felt rather tired and all that.
after that i wanted to go out with them. but suddenly decided not to again. dont know what's wrong with me. yep and my mood just dipped and dipped. sigh.
i think im a worthless freak. nobody cares about me, or wait, maybe i dont ALLOW others to care for me. what the bloody hell is wrong with me?
Friday, July 07, 2006
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
I LOVE HUGS.
heh. seriously. i think hugs are the best of the bestest things in world (: the feeling is like, heartwarming, and sweet and warm and like YAY. hugs make me happy. but of course, those 'good quality' hugs must be sincere, and not half hearted ones. i mean, i hate it when i hug somebody and that person just stand there like a block of wood. its like im hugging a lamppost-.- haha. so yah people, next time when you see me, greet me by giving me a hug(: im more than happy to do that, and it'll surely brighten up my day. hehe.
haha actually, i like physical contact. haha. i like touching people [dont think dirty!] but yah i like that feeling of touching people and feeling their warmth. haha. it really feels good. and i like to lie on people's shoulder (: heh. gives me a sense of security. hehe. ok but yah. its damn nice(: but the best things are still hugs luh! yay hugs rock. so people, practice the art of hugging! and always be sincere when hugging. heh. its the most important! heh.
**
ok i dont know why i am so high today. but yah, heh. heard some good news today that got me super happy and jumping for joy. lol. and also, i taught wan ting the art of hugging. haha and she gave me a nice nice hug when we were saying byebye. haha and sherry, if you see this, dont be jealous (x
WAN TING IS MY LAOGONG.
she is now officially my laogong, so people, she's taken, stay away from her alright. if not i hack you with a hacksaw arh! haha. ((:
**
IM LOOKING FORWARD TO TMR. freaking exciting. haha. but of course, i shouldnt expect too much. the higher the hopes, the greater the disappointment. haha. yay freaking high today.
oh and btw, im trying to stop using mother. haha. its too vulgar a word for such a sweet girl like me to use :D
heh. seriously. i think hugs are the best of the bestest things in world (: the feeling is like, heartwarming, and sweet and warm and like YAY. hugs make me happy. but of course, those 'good quality' hugs must be sincere, and not half hearted ones. i mean, i hate it when i hug somebody and that person just stand there like a block of wood. its like im hugging a lamppost-.- haha. so yah people, next time when you see me, greet me by giving me a hug(: im more than happy to do that, and it'll surely brighten up my day. hehe.
haha actually, i like physical contact. haha. i like touching people [dont think dirty!] but yah i like that feeling of touching people and feeling their warmth. haha. it really feels good. and i like to lie on people's shoulder (: heh. gives me a sense of security. hehe. ok but yah. its damn nice(: but the best things are still hugs luh! yay hugs rock. so people, practice the art of hugging! and always be sincere when hugging. heh. its the most important! heh.
**
ok i dont know why i am so high today. but yah, heh. heard some good news today that got me super happy and jumping for joy. lol. and also, i taught wan ting the art of hugging. haha and she gave me a nice nice hug when we were saying byebye. haha and sherry, if you see this, dont be jealous (x
WAN TING IS MY LAOGONG.
she is now officially my laogong, so people, she's taken, stay away from her alright. if not i hack you with a hacksaw arh! haha. ((:
**
IM LOOKING FORWARD TO TMR. freaking exciting. haha. but of course, i shouldnt expect too much. the higher the hopes, the greater the disappointment. haha. yay freaking high today.
oh and btw, im trying to stop using mother. haha. its too vulgar a word for such a sweet girl like me to use :D
Monday, July 03, 2006
I LOVE SHERRY AND RAYRIN.
went out with them today, instead of going sentosa. and oh man it was damn fun. haha, we dint do anything special. but that feeling of happiness. yah it was there(: im freaking happy. haha. the incredible thing is that i called them up at like 12+ in the morning, and miraculously, they were able to make it. haha.
yep so in the morn sherry and me went to siglap to wait for rayrin to finish his second audition for dsa. haha. yep. and den after that we decided to go bugis to study, eat and all that. yep it was really quite fun. haha. as in i dont know how to explain it, but it felt like it was like the old times. its like, all the suannings, and laughing, and talking, and gossiping, and joking. haha uber fun! (: i felt really comfortable with them. heh.
so anyway we went to jack's place to eat lunch. haha. it was quite fun la. and we were like laughing quite a lot. haha. and sherry fell onto the floor! haha. she was grabbing some of her jelly back from rayrin, and its like her chair fell over. and she dint know, so she sat back down and ended up falling onto the ground. haha. and when she tried to stand up, she grabbed the table, and the table almost ended up toppling over. haha. this shows how fat sherry is. haha.
so yep after that we went popular and like walked walked around and all that. haha. we did really simple things luh, but it was really fun. haha. after that we went to bugis nlb to study. haha. and i did two research evaluations! (: heh. and while i was sitting there with sherry and rayrin, it suddenly crossed my mind how thankful i should be to have such great and fun friends like them. its like, i can feel so comfortable with them, and all that. the feeling it like, woah, bliss. haha. yah and there was this point of time when we were walking towards bugis, and its like we were walking in silence. haha. to me it dint feel awkward at all (: haha. to them i dont know la, but to me, it was kinda like a comfortable silence. haha.
after that we fooled around a bit more and went home. haha, took a few pictures with them on the mrt. so happy (: haha. it left me feeling quite satisfied. heh.
looking forward to seeing rayrin in vjchoir. haha. then we'll be singing in the same choir again! ((: haha, and i shall wait for sherry to come in. haha. one and a half more years.. heh.
yay i love those kids and animals. haha. [sherry = monkey, rayrin = doggie/owner] haha. (:
went out with them today, instead of going sentosa. and oh man it was damn fun. haha, we dint do anything special. but that feeling of happiness. yah it was there(: im freaking happy. haha. the incredible thing is that i called them up at like 12+ in the morning, and miraculously, they were able to make it. haha.
yep so in the morn sherry and me went to siglap to wait for rayrin to finish his second audition for dsa. haha. yep. and den after that we decided to go bugis to study, eat and all that. yep it was really quite fun. haha. as in i dont know how to explain it, but it felt like it was like the old times. its like, all the suannings, and laughing, and talking, and gossiping, and joking. haha uber fun! (: i felt really comfortable with them. heh.
so anyway we went to jack's place to eat lunch. haha. it was quite fun la. and we were like laughing quite a lot. haha. and sherry fell onto the floor! haha. she was grabbing some of her jelly back from rayrin, and its like her chair fell over. and she dint know, so she sat back down and ended up falling onto the ground. haha. and when she tried to stand up, she grabbed the table, and the table almost ended up toppling over. haha. this shows how fat sherry is. haha.
so yep after that we went popular and like walked walked around and all that. haha. we did really simple things luh, but it was really fun. haha. after that we went to bugis nlb to study. haha. and i did two research evaluations! (: heh. and while i was sitting there with sherry and rayrin, it suddenly crossed my mind how thankful i should be to have such great and fun friends like them. its like, i can feel so comfortable with them, and all that. the feeling it like, woah, bliss. haha. yah and there was this point of time when we were walking towards bugis, and its like we were walking in silence. haha. to me it dint feel awkward at all (: haha. to them i dont know la, but to me, it was kinda like a comfortable silence. haha.
after that we fooled around a bit more and went home. haha, took a few pictures with them on the mrt. so happy (: haha. it left me feeling quite satisfied. heh.
looking forward to seeing rayrin in vjchoir. haha. then we'll be singing in the same choir again! ((: haha, and i shall wait for sherry to come in. haha. one and a half more years.. heh.
yay i love those kids and animals. haha. [sherry = monkey, rayrin = doggie/owner] haha. (:
Sunday, July 02, 2006
feeling better
im feeling better today. of course im still not like hundred percent happy, but at least im not as furious as i was last night.
things are better now with my dad, it's always like that, we fight and then we treat the fight like its never happened. yep. so anyway, i wrote a letter to him and tried to tell him what i felt and all that. yep things are better today anyway. haha i even asked him nicely if i could go sentosa tmr, and he agreed! (: of course, the only catch is that i have to be home by 8pm. ohwell.
anyway, there is this one person i need to thank, and its ALTHEA LEW HWI CHIEH. she was there for me ytd and she was the person who counselled me and gave me advice and everything. yep i'm really thankful for that. she was the one who made me feel better. THANK YOU AlTHEA. ok fine maybe i DO love you. haha. yep. im really glad that i have a laogong like you <3
yep and about that friend. ive decided, im the one who was expecting too much in the first place. i shall just be normal friends with him, there's no point for me to make another enemy. but i guess i can forget about being good friends with him, i thought we could have a great friendship, but i was wrong. he's just not the type of person who's receptive to what people do for him. if that is the case, so be it. i shouldnt spoil my mood because of him, afterall, he is nothing to me now. yep.
going sentosa tmr, i think. haha. wonder what i can do there. hope i have fun though. (:
many thanks to all those who expressed concern for me. i really appreciate it (:
love makes us act like we are
fools;
things are better now with my dad, it's always like that, we fight and then we treat the fight like its never happened. yep. so anyway, i wrote a letter to him and tried to tell him what i felt and all that. yep things are better today anyway. haha i even asked him nicely if i could go sentosa tmr, and he agreed! (: of course, the only catch is that i have to be home by 8pm. ohwell.
anyway, there is this one person i need to thank, and its ALTHEA LEW HWI CHIEH. she was there for me ytd and she was the person who counselled me and gave me advice and everything. yep i'm really thankful for that. she was the one who made me feel better. THANK YOU AlTHEA. ok fine maybe i DO love you. haha. yep. im really glad that i have a laogong like you <3
yep and about that friend. ive decided, im the one who was expecting too much in the first place. i shall just be normal friends with him, there's no point for me to make another enemy. but i guess i can forget about being good friends with him, i thought we could have a great friendship, but i was wrong. he's just not the type of person who's receptive to what people do for him. if that is the case, so be it. i shouldnt spoil my mood because of him, afterall, he is nothing to me now. yep.
going sentosa tmr, i think. haha. wonder what i can do there. hope i have fun though. (:
many thanks to all those who expressed concern for me. i really appreciate it (:
love makes us act like we are
fools;
Saturday, July 01, 2006
i hate my father
FUCK. i am so mother fucking angry, i dont know where to start. ok fine, let me start with my father.
HE IS THE MOST IDIOTIC AND SICKENING PERSON IVE EVER KNOWN. unreasonable freak. 'dont make me leave you all'. that he says all the time. i dont ever see that happening. yah maybe he'll get killed or something, jump off the building or whatever, but come on, i've already experienced the death of my mum. do you think i freaking care if he dies. ok maybe i'll care about the financial part, cos i dont know where im gonna get my money from. but then, yah that's about it. i dont love my dad. he says that he loves me, well maybe, but seriously, i hate him sometimes. and this is one of the times. i dont think i'll ever love my dad, yah i'll feel kinship for him, he IS my dad, but other than that, that's it. he's such a tyrant. freaking shit. he sucks. big time. i already went along with his wishes. and yet when i come home, he has to shout at me, everytime he just says 'one day i will leave you all', and then he told me to 'get out of the house'. fuck. i listened to him and came home, what else does he want. had i known, i wouldnt have come back home. what's wrong with going out all day? its not like i neglected my studies. COME ON. i got 70.3% for my CA. what else does he want.
AND YOU. mother fuck. got me so freaking pissed. damn shit. i care about you alright. but yet you give me this type of tone. who do you think you are. its not the first time. what's wrong with caring for a friend? im so concerned about you and you dont appreciate it. and you gave me that freaking sarcastic tone. what's your mother big problem. my problem is always with you, what's wrong. why is all these shit happening. i was so happy, but yet YOU had to spoil my day. if you dont appreciate what i do, fine, that's it, i've had enough. ARGH. i dont even feel like THINKING about you now. you just make my life miserable.
MY LIFE IS SO SCREWED UP. I HATE MY FAMILY. my sister, she sucks, my brother, he's nice but he's quite ap. im not even close to my extended family. maybe IM the failure in life. i do well in academics, but other than that, i fail in everything else i do. why cant i be a goody two shoes and listen to my dad all the time so that he will love me, like my sister. but wait, who wants him to love me? i dont seriously give a damn about it. the thing is that i've had enough of him. i really had enough of it. and my friends? even more screwed up, VIP? i have NO FRIENDS, except for maybe people like althea, yiling and alicea. CHOIR? yes i have friends, but i dont fit in, they are afterall all older than me. and recently ive been having all these moodswings. i dont even feel like going out with them now.
maybe im the one who should go and jump off the building. the world would be a better place without me.
HE IS THE MOST IDIOTIC AND SICKENING PERSON IVE EVER KNOWN. unreasonable freak. 'dont make me leave you all'. that he says all the time. i dont ever see that happening. yah maybe he'll get killed or something, jump off the building or whatever, but come on, i've already experienced the death of my mum. do you think i freaking care if he dies. ok maybe i'll care about the financial part, cos i dont know where im gonna get my money from. but then, yah that's about it. i dont love my dad. he says that he loves me, well maybe, but seriously, i hate him sometimes. and this is one of the times. i dont think i'll ever love my dad, yah i'll feel kinship for him, he IS my dad, but other than that, that's it. he's such a tyrant. freaking shit. he sucks. big time. i already went along with his wishes. and yet when i come home, he has to shout at me, everytime he just says 'one day i will leave you all', and then he told me to 'get out of the house'. fuck. i listened to him and came home, what else does he want. had i known, i wouldnt have come back home. what's wrong with going out all day? its not like i neglected my studies. COME ON. i got 70.3% for my CA. what else does he want.
AND YOU. mother fuck. got me so freaking pissed. damn shit. i care about you alright. but yet you give me this type of tone. who do you think you are. its not the first time. what's wrong with caring for a friend? im so concerned about you and you dont appreciate it. and you gave me that freaking sarcastic tone. what's your mother big problem. my problem is always with you, what's wrong. why is all these shit happening. i was so happy, but yet YOU had to spoil my day. if you dont appreciate what i do, fine, that's it, i've had enough. ARGH. i dont even feel like THINKING about you now. you just make my life miserable.
MY LIFE IS SO SCREWED UP. I HATE MY FAMILY. my sister, she sucks, my brother, he's nice but he's quite ap. im not even close to my extended family. maybe IM the failure in life. i do well in academics, but other than that, i fail in everything else i do. why cant i be a goody two shoes and listen to my dad all the time so that he will love me, like my sister. but wait, who wants him to love me? i dont seriously give a damn about it. the thing is that i've had enough of him. i really had enough of it. and my friends? even more screwed up, VIP? i have NO FRIENDS, except for maybe people like althea, yiling and alicea. CHOIR? yes i have friends, but i dont fit in, they are afterall all older than me. and recently ive been having all these moodswings. i dont even feel like going out with them now.
maybe im the one who should go and jump off the building. the world would be a better place without me.
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