HI ALL.

been quite some time since i last blogged.
well, many things have happened.
not physically, but mentally (: and it made me a stronger and better person.

well the first two days of CNY were spent quite badly.
i felt moody and emo and well,
it was just plain boring.
rah.
but the third day was GREAT.
house visiting was a blast.
went to althea's, alicea's, guowei's and novabelle's houses.
yep it was really fun.
and i really had a fun time with the IP people.
we rock man! (:
all the crap fortune telling games we played, all the intellectual discussions.
it makes me feel really fortunate that i am actually in the IP. (:
yeap and when i was on the bus with xianyong, my angel and ex boyfriend,
i sort of thought things over properly.
and i managed to let go.
to forget about everything that's happened.

no more emoing and hanging on to the past for me.
the bubbly and cheerful may is back. (:
of course, the memories will stay with me forever, it's just that i feel its time for me to treasure the others around me. yep to love them and to thank them for everything they have done for me. yep and i did just that.
sent about 12 people a message that told them i loved them.
i expected messages of 'i love you too!' to come back. and guess what? in the end, about 80% of them thought i was going to commit suicide. it was hilarious really. hahaha. see it just tells us all how uncommon it is for people to express their love for each other. thus, we should all do it more often (:
yep and my shell station even called me the next day to check that i was still alive. hahaha had a nice random talk with him after that. too bad my father had to force me to get off the phone. x.x
sorry shell station!

okay so the next few days were passed really great. love the yeartwos and love my classmates (:
im enjoying myself in choir more too nowadays. lol i've learnt to let go and im really really proud of myself.

yep went out on fri to celebrate fei's birthday with the sistas. i love the sistas! too bad wen couldnt come again, cos she had choir prac. awww. next time okay? (: yep and laughed a whole lot with them again. lol. they seriously brighten my life up (: ohh and we sorta sang a song together. the chimney song. it sounded nice wahahaha. (:

uhhuh, so everything's fine and happy for me now.

no more emoing from may!
yay (:

treasure and cherish?
you dont know how to do that yourself.

hahaha, i've learnt so much through this episode.
guess its sort of yin huo de fu.
ive moved on and im really happy cos all this made me learn more about myself and to improve my character.

i read through all your actions yesterday.
it made me amused.

(:

oh btw,

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO FEI.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MY BEST FRIEND (weijie).

HAPPY BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCE TO ALTHEA.

i dont like this feeling.
i dread seeing you.

cherish.
cherish my friends.
im at althea's hse now btw.
haha. should have fun with them,
our last cny together leh.

(:

maybe i made the wrong move.
hahaha.
said the wrong things.
did the wrong stuff.
but oh well,
how much worse can it get?
ive given up already.
no more friendship,
nothing else.
just hope the pain goes away soon.
at least all my past actions are explained.

i hope you can be trusted.

**

muaha, suddenly realise that evanescence songs very nice.
all the sad and emo rock songs.
muaha.

atomic kittens also quite nice.
all my old cds lol.
sometimes its good to remember the old (:

**

now i will tell you what ive done for you,
fifty thousand tears ive cried.
lying decieving and bleeding for you,
but you still wont hear me.

im going under.

dont want your hand this time i'll save mysef
maybe i'll wake up for once
not tormented daily defeated by you
just when i thought i'd reach the bottom.

**

you dont remember me but i remember you
i lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
but who can decide what they dream
and dream i do

i believe in you
i'll give up everything just to find you
i need to be with you
to live to breathe youre taking over me

**

nice right! muaha.
evanescence going under and taking over me.

**

if you see me walking down the street
staring at the sky
dragging my two feet
you just pass me by
it still makes me cry
but you can make me whole again

if you see me with another man
laughing and im joking
doing what i can
i wont put you down
cos i want you around
you can make me whole again

looking back on when we first met
i cannot escape and i cannot forget
baby youre the one
you still turn me on
you can make me whole again

**

and of course, AK whole again.
(:

**

i realise whatever you say has a double meaning.
stop shooting me.

rah i should go out and join the others at mahjong.
make myself happy for once.
niam niam niam.

sorry think this post is a bit incoherant.
treat it as a wasted post.
im spouting nonsense (:


i wish.

i wanna cherish the year twos.
seriously.
i shouldnt be wasting my time thinking of people who are not worth it.

just dont let me see.
dont let me look.
dont let me notice.

and i'll be happy.

let me remain ignorant,
ignorance is bliss,
i wanna feel blissful.

all the hurt that pours in after revelation.
its so painful,
my heart breaks into a million pieces.

i want the yeartwos.

during choir bbq,
there was this time when the 8 of us sat together at a table.
wanting, shuwei, yuting, dawn, yizha, huping, oliver and i.
just like the old times.
i miss the times we spent together.
a lot a lot.
yeah and i really cherished that few precious minutes when the 8 of us sat together during choir bbq.
love you guys.
thank you all so much for everything.
im glad im on good terms with all of you.
let things stay this way (:

i know some people are not worth it.
but i cant control my heart.

im happy when youre not around.
when you are, that pain i feel just by looking at you,
its indescribable.

why are we strangers?

put on your specs.
cos i dont recognise you anymore.

**

haha meant to blog about the outing with vivian, angmian, shunjie, manching and winki.
but it's been some time since ive been near a comp so..
lol.
yeah i really had a lot of fun with them.
missed them so much man.
guys, must come out often okay?
remember our two months promise! ((:

**

i make believe,
that you are here.

**

valentine's day was fine.
got a bit emo at first but ohwell, there are still lots and lots of people who love me.
thank you all for your little gifts and such.
every little gift and note brightened my day.
thank you all (:

**

im going under,
drowning in you.

**

hmm choir bbq was fun. i guess.
lol talked a bit to some people.
oh and i got dunked.
its easy to dunk me la, i so light.
lol! but i remember xy saying, 'omg why she so heavy one.'
wahahahaha!
may is FAT! (:

**

you can make me
whole again.

**

was listening to emo songs the whole day today.
lol dug out all my old cds.
rather interesting ah.

am at my cousin's hse now,
not bad la.
had a nice steamboat.
gupped loads of abalone.
my favourite wahaha.

**

looking forward to tues.
chinese new year house visting! (:

**

do you?
you know im such a fool for you.
do you have to let it linger?

gotta pick myself up,
where do i start,
cause i cant turn to you,
when it all falls apart.

okay i just deleted an emo post.

hai.
heart pain.

anyway, i announce that im not a pon-ner.
okay mr naij?
lol eh be honoured, you're actually mentioned on my blog!

lol okay.
im being whimsical.

stress level of ss too high.
shit man.

that surprise ive been thinking about for two weeks,
it'll probably not be appreciated.
but i know i'll regret not doing it.

everything seems meaningless now

hello people.

yesterday was quite a good day.
i had choir yesterday.
and i thought the practice was not bad.

lol, we did skye boat song and il coro delle malmaritate. im starting to like skye boat. it's quite nice (: uhhuh and after that we went to siglap to meet mr kwei. surprisingly, i think we sang quite well. lol, mr kwei seemed to be rather happy. yeah we sang our 4 jap songs, o magnum, skye boat and our il coros. lol. we only screwed up il coro women. lol so its not to bad. uhhuh and we learnt a new song, o my love is like a red, red rose. its such a beautiful song alright! (: the lyrics are on shu wei's blog. heh.

so choir ended at like 3. yeah and the musico and exco had a meeting with mr kwei. yeap so all of us waited outside for them. i had a really great time bugging my PAPAYA to sing either ciao bella ciao or o my love is like a red, red rose for me. lol, its so fun teasing my PAPAYA (: haha. btw, my papaya's reuben. if yall dont already know. lol!

yeap after that i just sad with the clique at the benches and we were just crapping about everything. i thought it was rather fun (: yep.

after that i left with danny and yuting for town first. yep, had a nice talk with them. lol we were talkin about proposing and all those stuff. really interesting (: yep.

after that i went to suntec and met rhoda. yep walked around with her and chatted and bitched and gossip about lots of stuff. lol, zhuofei and sherry were late again, as always, lol. yeah and after we ment zhuofei and sherry we went to meet yuxuan. hahaha. so, the five of us walked around to find a farewell present for diane. yeah we found a gorgeous jewellery box for her. its really cute (: hope she likes it. :D

yeap and after that, we walked to this toy shop. and there those really cool capsule thingys. lol. there this capsule that was a miniature version of a capsule machine. yeah and i thought that was really cute. (: cost 2 dollars only, quite cheap leh. lol.

uhhuh after that we went to the nuss clubhouse for diane's farewell party. it was really great. yeah and the food was rather good too (: i had an absolutely great time with the sistas there. yeah, all the laughing and joking and bitching and gossiping and catching up. really love the sistas (: it was really great to be able to catch up with them again. yeah and everything's fine now, no more awkwardness of anything. i believe our friendship will be able to last. (: i really treasured the time spent with them yesterday. now i know what's the meaning of cherish. (:

I LOVE THE SISTAS.

yeah so anyway, that put me into the mood for meeting up with all my old friends. yeah cos no matter how caught up we are in our own lives at the moment, we all should still take the time to meet up with our old friends, because that sense of connection you feel with them is something that doesnt exist with your other groups of friends. yeap, its good to catch up once in a while (:

yeah, some things happened that dint quite make my day perfect.
but those were minor things.
whatever it is, im really glad i got to see my dear beloved sistas.
(:

shall meet up with feevian and angmian them soon.
take care all my dearies.

of course, i wont forget my present friends,
alicea althea and gang from 06v11,
and the clique in choir (:

what a long and unemo post. heh.

**

who's that girl.

都可以随便的
你说的我都愿意去
小火车摆动的旋律

都可以是真的
你说的我都会相信
因为我完全信任你

细腻的喜欢
毛毯般的厚重感
晒过太阳熟悉的安全感

分享的汤我们俩吃汤吃一个碗
左心房暖暖的好保暖

**

孤单是一个人的狂欢，
狂欢是一群人的孤单。

爱情原来的开始是陪伴，
但我也渐渐的遗忘，
当初是怎样有人陪伴。

我一个人吃饭旅行到处走走停停，
也一个人看书写信自己对话谈心，
只是心又飘到了那里，
就连自己看也看不清，
我想我不仅仅是失去你。

**

did i hear you right?
cause i thought you said,
let's think it over.

you have been my life,
and i never planned,
going on without you.

bruised and battered by your words,
dazed and shattered now it hurts.

**

i miss malacca.
conte partiro.