frens

hmm. ive finally STOPPED procrastinating! hahas. whee` im so satisfied wid mahhself. even though i din do lotsa work. but i did maths lol. hahas. den erm i oso went library and borrowed MOV and the Jane Eyre book for english [ive given up on THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY. its too chim] yupps. hahas. so i tink i did quite some things todae lor. which is good ba. hahas.

hv been thinking abt my frenships and abt whether they are complicated or simple. realised that my frenships in 2B are complicated. frenships in choir are very simple. like not fake at all. which is a good thing lor. i mean. haii. dunno lar.

letme talk abt some of mahh frens in 2B. was just reflecting abt them lor.
1) YOU. you always seem to dislike me. we were close last time. yes. very close. but now. we are so distant to each other. you told other people that you still care abt me. but why is it that i do NOT feel anything? i dont know why this has happened to us. but i find myself NOT caring anymore. fine you can just do anything you want. snatch all my frens. like i care. anyways i like my choir frens more. and i dun think YOU can snatch them away. you tell people you feel left out. and you feel lonely. yes. i can see all that. but are you not forgetting that I feel lonely too. not just YOU. you say that i am self centered. yeah mayb i am. ive always known i was selfish. but can you say that YOU are not selfcentered? YOU are selfcentered too. im not trying to sound spiteful or anything. but seriously. dun accuse ME of things that YOU are doing yourself. i feel so betrayed. AND you always gimme the weird looks when i see you. i dunno wad is wrong. you might not be able to feel it. but yes. i do care for you. you might not feel it. but i do care for you. i noe you care for me too. i admit. i can feel it. but those rare moments when i feel that you like me are covered by those moments when i feel that you hate me. i dont want this happening to our frenship. but what can i do? you say im aloof. but that is just me. and i wont change for anyone.

2)YOU. you are forever the one that everyone likes. yeah. i was close to you. but im no longer close to you now. and you know it. ppl still think we are close. but you and i both know it. we arent anymore. ive tried many a times to get back our old frenship. but its all no use. you are the one whos not trying. and since you dont care. why shud i. everyone compares you with me. and like total duh you win. but im sick of getting compared with you. real sick of it. im just me. fullstop. not someone whos used to compare with you. you can say that i am jealous. and probably i am. i dun tink im inferior to you in any way. but recently. things that are happening make me think that other people dont think so. and thats wad hurts me most. we were SUCH good frens. it hurts me to think that we are no longer that good frens. you are closer to a lot of other people. people who all prefer you to me. i noe that. you might tell me no. just to ease my bruised ego. but i see and hear for myself. i noe who likes me and who does not. you are always the one whos more sociable and more easygoing. cos you dont have much of a temper. i cant blame you for it. but one thing is that im really getting sick of all the comparing thing. and the only way to get rid of it is to not be seen with you tat often. i used to see you online and can chatter away to you for a long time. bt nowadays i see you online and have nothing to talk to you abt. i dont know whats wrong. but wad i noe is that the glory of our frenship is long over. no matter wat. it will nv return. im glad that we had beautiful memories with us. and the only thing i ask for now is that we can still be good frens. even though we will nv return to our memorable closeness. ill nv forget you. as for whether or not you'll forget me. that i do not noe.

3) YOU. i really love you. love you alot and alot. altho ive only been close to you recently. youve been the most wonderful fren to me. we share secrets and the such. and only secrets that the TWO of us noe. which is a good thing! i used to not be able to keep secrets. but now. i can! i can swear that none of your secrets have ever been leaked out and ive NEVER betrayed you. NOT once. and i guess i'll probably NV betray you in my whole life. you are the only one who's willing to listen to everything that i tell you. you are the only one whos ever bothered to make me feel good. the fact that i noe you love me makes me love you even more! i look forward to telling you everything that has happend to me. and i know you will always be there for me, listening to me and all that. i love you for the wonderful person that you are. you even got excited for me over the syf results! hahas. and to think that you werent even from choir. i really appreciate all that youve done for me. really. i noe sometimes ive been moody in class and all that and that ive treated you badly sometimes. but i just want to let you know thatt no matter what. i'll lurve you always!

4)YOU. you are always so nice to me. yeah. youve always been nice to me. but nowadays you are showing me a bit more interest then usual. other people say that you are fake. i nv did think that you were fake. but sometimes what they say realli gets me suspicious and i think that you are realli sucking up to me. but what sets me thinking is why you wld want to suck up to me. i mean. im not popular. and im not clever and im not pretty. so im convinced that you dont suck up to me because there is nothing about me that is worth sucking up about. however. i have to admit that you treat me REAL nice. and seriously, i dont mind it abit. its really nice to know that there's owaes someone there for you. the feelings really nice. and i wun despise you just because of what other people said. i hope i do treat you nice too. because you really are a nice fren to have. and i am thankful to have a fren like you. yeah you are always there for me. and you NV leave me behind on anything. that i really want to thank you. thanks for making me feel loved. as that is a feeling i rarely have. hope that we can continue being such good frens for as long as we can. thank you so much!(:

5)YOU. you give me weird looks sometimes too. and i cant be sure whether or not you like me. wad ive heard from other people is that youve never ever said anything bad abt me. that is probably something im relieved abt as you are VERY critical. it might not be a bad thing though. but i still feel that sometimes you appear to be disgusted by my actions. and you seem to be snatching my fren away from me. yeah. most definitely. you are snatching her away from me. i can totally tell like you know. and surprisingly, im ok abt it. probably cos i dont have such a big opinion of you. like i only tink of you normally. not anything bad and not anything special. i totally have to say this. youve NV been there for me. so you can so totally not expect me to be there fo you. other than all this. i just hope dat we can get along just fine.

6)YOU. as for you. i pity you sometimes. you LURVE to gossip and i dont think its such a good thing. you probably are hurting yourself. you LURVE to pry information out of other people but refuse to give information out to other people. however, everyone KNOWS that you hv a BIG mouth and cant keep anything to yourself. that is really your undoing. knowing too much abt other people will often do you more harm then good. leaking out their information will cause them to hate you. you always ask us whether or not other people dislike you or hate you. but you probably know the answer yourself. many people are starting to dislike you. cos they think you are a hypocrite. i used to like toking to you. cos i tot you were such a nice person. however i really have to say this now. youll never get anything out of me. NOTHING! for as long as i live. youve proved to be an egoistic and hypocritical person. and i'll never trust any of my secrets with you. you can just plain old back off. however. i dont want to be enemies with anyone in the class. therefore i wld still welcome you as a normal fren.

7) YOU. you are a total bimbo. howwever, i dont know whether you are acting or not. are you really such an airhead or are you acting as an airhead. you are someone who puzzles me often. you are as egoistic as [6]. and i know you totally adore [2]. i noe and i can see for myself. sometimes your words carry hidden meanings. which make me fume when i read/hear them. cos i really cant stand it. stop being such a hypocrite. i dont know which is the real you. are you really a bimbo or are you faking it?

oh well. i feel abit better venting out my frustrations. ahh. i probably dont care so much about them ba. as in. i dont really wanna bother with all the trivial matters anymore. ive realised that life isnt about gossips. its about all the goodness and fun that you get from being with frens and fufilling wad you are supposed to do. its abt sharing your happiness with everyone close to you. im thankful for all the close frens i have in choir and also for the few true frens i have in class. as for the people ive mentioned above. you know who you are. i totally have made it clear and im just telling you more abt the things that im sure you yourself have been wanting to know. sure. its all upthere. read for all that i care.

ohwells. im tired already. ta. ciao(: