I'm so tired. So tired of being in Law School, of the endless working, and studying, and worrying.
And now as I am typing this, I should be doing my contract tutorial, reading my crim cases, doing the crim memo, doing LAWR research, reading misrepresentation and doing ILT readings.
Stacks and stacks of work to do. And every week is just an endless race to finish what I have to do, to keep up with lectures, tutorials, and seminars.
My grades for sem 1 weren't that good, and I was shocked to get those grades. It just reflects how highly I think of myself. I never thought I'd be average. Average. That's such an ugly word. Something I never associated myself with.
And there, I've said it, shown it to the world, I'm such an arrogant person.
Who am I to think that I am smarter than everyone? Who am I to think that others are less intelligent than me? I've let myself get caught up in my own success in the past, and I've gotten egotistical and big-headed.
This is a timely reminder for me to remember that I am not that different from everyone.
Past the initial shock, I am actually thankful. I'm thankful that God has shown me this 'failure' at this time, to remind me to keep a humble heart. That's what I've been trying to do throughout my JC life, why have I lost it? Now, I tend to feel insulted whenever people doubt my ability in the least. Where has that come from? I'm glad God has given me this opportunity to keep my arrogant mind in check.
I need to relearn to be humble, need to stop being arrogant, and need to be more sensitive to the needs of others.
And beyond that, I have to learn to keep the fire going, to remind myself why it is that I wanted to come to law school. To stop feeling intimidated and jaded by life, to remind myself that grades are not everything in life.
