you know what?

youre such a sucker. ive had enough of you. ive tried my best to the best and most supportive friend you can ever have. perhaps ive tried too hard, and you're just taking me for granted.
if you dont care about whatever that's happening to me, fine. 'whatever im not interested'. have you any idea how much it hurt me? i care so much for you, but to you, im just a nobody whom you dont care two hoots about.

ive always thought you were a nice and thoughtful guy. well you've proved me wrong. this is not the first time you've hurt me. it sucks to know that ive judged a person wrongly, but at least, i can comfort myself by knowing that im not continuing this one-sided friendship anymore. i've told you so many times about how i feel. i bet you've never cared. and i was stupid to think that i could change you.

youre such a self-centred person. your world is just filled with her. your friends dont matter to you at all. so much for trying to change you, so much for trying to be a good friend, so much for the whole cfs thing. i tried to make you care for your friends, i've realised that it will never work. you dont care about others, you only care about yourself. you only care about your own feelings. 'its not that i dont care, its just that ive got other priorities'. that's bullshit i tell you, B U L L S H I T.

thanks, for making me realise that ive wasted my time and effort.
thanks, for letting me save myself from wasting my time next year.
thanks, for letting me realise what a lousy friend is.
thanks, for letting me see what you're really like.

thanks ah.

i know that when you read this, you'll probably roll your eyes and think that im over-reacting.

and you know what? this time round, im not caring. im not even expecting an apology from you. im not expecting anything from you anymore. thanks for relieving me of this burden, of being obliged to care for you. of course, i dont deny that i will still care for you, i cant help it. but i'll get used to knowing that i dont and never had your friendship. and maybe i'll stop caring for you soon.

maybe we'll be superficial friends, ive gotta see you for two more years anyway. who knows.

btw, forget the whole cfs thing, we were never good friends anyway.