hello

large font today! =P and lotsa spaces! cos i feel like it. haha.


ahh i am so sian..


ok actually i am not. i mean, i have lots and lotsa things to do.


haha im in a listing mood today blah



things to do at home:

prac scores
read books
write farewell letters
make farewell gifts
cross stitch



outings:

watch GOF
choir pracs [in school and at ppl's hse]
seoul garden with sistas
cut hair
go ppl hse play



chalets:

2B chalet
6/4 chalet
choir chalet



movies:

angmian's house to watch movies
sherry's hse to watch harrypotter movies



performances:

paragon:D
sec4s graduation



books to read:


light reading

harry potter series;
harrypotter and the philosoper's stone
harrypotter and the chamber of secrets
harrypotter and the prisoner of azkaban
harrypotter and the goblet of fire
harrypotter and the order of the pheonix
harrypotter and the half blood prince


trickster's series
jane eyre
i'll be seeing you
tuesdays with morrie


vip materials

the humanities
his dark materials trilogy by phillip pullman;
the golden compass/ northern lights
the subtle knife
the amber spyglass

the life of pi


the sciences and mathematics
the number devil
the short history of nearly everything
E=MC2
sophie's world


readings for IP1 electives
men of tomorrow: geeks, gangsters and the birth of the comic book
comics and ideology
why we do what we do
the code book
biodiversity and conservation
ideas that changed the world




so you see, i really have lotsa things to do. but nowadays, i sleep at like 2plus and wake up at 1plus. that's like 11hrs of sleep. omgosh im turning into such a pig. bahs. im sian only when i come online and find no one to talk to. arghs, such a sickening thing. and im thinking and thinking and thinking so much these days. really confused. hmm am trying to just keep myself busy so i wont think so much. tmr gonna go cut hair, let me hope for the best.
im really in such a mess right now. i dont know what i am feeling. sometimes, its just hard to let go. and i dint cherish you when i had you. not just you actually, but both of you. i dint even notice you when you were around, and now, im pining to just catch a glimpse of you.
and you, i admit i had taken notice of you when you were around. i had always taken notice of you, but somehow i regret not trying to improve our friendship, i had let it fall into ruins. and now i miss you, real badly. it hurts just to think that i might not get to see you anymore. but i guess you dont feel the same way as i do. i seem to be nothing at all to you. sometimes when i realise how close you are to other people, i get so so jealous. but what can i do? i guess we just dont really click. but i had always been closer to you, among all of them, you were the one whom i cared about, but why is it that you dont really care for me? i feel so sad when i think of all the 'could have been's. we were so close to that, but i had let my temper gotten into the way. i am very sorry and i guess no matter what i do, we would never be able to be that close. i am really so so so scared, i dont want the day to come when i dont even remember anything that has happened between us, all the small and sweet things. i want to remember everything that had happened, but if i have a feeling that i might forget. and this feeling i have of you might even fade away. i dont want this to happen. i even envision myself with you. i know this is all a fantasy of mine, but somehow, it really seems so real. with you it had always been different. you were always special to me. somehow after these years of denying, its all coming true. but it had to come true only at the last moment, at the last day. i really regret not doing somethings i had wanted to do. but come to think of it, you always had the power to make me feel shy, to make me hesitate on what i am going to do, i never had this problem with the rest, guess you always had been special to me from the start. i just wish..